When You Cry In My Car:
When you cry in my car was written on a wet and dreary Valentines night after going to see the classic movie viewing of Casablanca. There I sat alone, surrounded by other stray romantics. After the movie I took shelter in the movie house bar and began to scribble down the way I was feeling.
The heavy rain had now lessened itself to a light mist. When I left, the streets were still slick with water. She was now residing at the foremost place of my thoughts. I couldn’t escape her or myself. My mind began to touch upon many theories of how and where she spends her nights. All the more complex and exciting than my own. Negative affects are surfacing, even in my health. It’s over, yet I continue to romanticise all that we could have been, but never really were.
The constant trying would only lead to further chaos and disappointment. Like the flutter of a butterflies wings casting a storm in distant lands, some things are beyond all control. I will never give up thinking of her, only the false ideology of who I thought she was. This is a song for anybody experiencing heartache, especially on a day so heavily connoted with love.
Fallen Angel:
Fallen angel is about meeting the devil in the form of an angel. Although suspicious from the start, you are heavily infatuated by her unearthly beauty and charm. This infatuation strips you of your sense.
Within her manner and verse, she cunningly persuades you into going down to her underground chamber. She takes your palms and reads between the lines, telling you all that you’ve been longing to hear. You brought the flowers to your funeral. Mislead, you thought it was a ceremony of something pure.
You can’t see beneath her blindfold, left dogmatic by the lies disguised as gospel. She has you where she wants you now. Left knocking on her door to spend eternity. You go now willingly, as you have fallen in love with the one person you shouldn’t…the Devil.
Dalkey Flowers:
Dalkey flowers is about going back to that place you first met, and fell instantly in love. A place of fond memories. For me, that place was a humble park. Time flashed before my eyes and years elapsed. Now three years later, we are there again, but the air is different. A place that marked the beginning of something beautiful now serves as its ending place.
Our song was playing lowly on the radio and as it came to an end, I held onto the final notes in some wistful hope that I could hold onto us. They drifted out the window....
Closing my eyes, falling back into the seat, I’m watching the movie of us playing in my mind, like those old VHS you find lying around. No longer the protagonist, now a spectator, peering in. I see the bundles of flowers she would often pick for me and place in my shirt pocket, right against my chest. They ultimately withered and sunk towards my chest like her head always did.
In her eyes of blue I was pulled to that sable abyss they call infatuation. Together time would fly by in an instant, all of the days would turn into nights in what felt like minutes.
"Oh what a time, time how it flies with you"
I now live in them sacred moments and die in them sacred moments.
Leaves Let Go (of Trees):
Leaves let go (of trees) describes how it feels to be constantly running from yourself and in doing so losing everybody close to you.
Feeling so far out from yourself that the water’s now cold and deep and the swim back seems like too much to undertake alone. The pressure in your head is becoming too much. She was your anodyne. You wish she could see you as you see her and wonder if she thinks as much of you as you do of her. If only you could let her go as leaves let go from trees. Then you might find some relief. She’s the one thing you need but also the one thing you know you can’t have. Your personal writing is taking a hiatus. The will just isn’t there anymore. She was your muse.
The Weir:
The Weir captures the innocence of first love and how the simple things can feel so amazing in those first encounters of discovering each other. It’s a time you’ll chase for the rest of the relationship but will never replicate. I guess the mystery gets lost. Money, location and circumstance don’t matter as long as you’re together. You pull away, you are getting to close in fear that you might just fall even more in love with that person. How nobody else in the room mattered because she was your eyes and you were hers. You love everything about her and how you can see yourself in everything she does and says. And you think back on the Fridays you would spend down The Weir together after she finished her shift…just watching the sunset barely talking but knowing exactly how the other was feeling and finally understanding the saying actions speak louder then words…Hoping life was always going to be that simple and pure and wishing you could live them moments over for the rest of your life… but sadly life does get in the way. But I think this track captures that innocence perfectly. We knew that we would eventually have to return to the real world, with all its responsibilities and obligations. But for now, we were happy to be there, free and unencumbered… and grateful for every moment of it.
Burn The Boats:
This song explores the battle of depression within oneself and the destructiveness that it brings to all aspects of life. By burning the boats, you destroy all contact with the outside world, leaving you stranded with nobody but yourself. On an island made of stone, completely alone. You feel fragile and uncertain, like a child without a home there.
You search the island, trying to find those pieces of yourself that you lost somewhere along the way. You watch the ships pass and wish you could be on one.
But you are stuck on this island with only yourself for now.
Don’t let go until you conquer the island, until you find yourself. It's a song about not giving up.
L’Amour De Ma Vie:
L’Amour de ma vie…translating to ‘love of my life’, is a piece to capture the simplicity and beauty of love. It’s a reference to show how sometimes words aren’t always needed to show how one truly feels within. For me, this track summed that feeling up rather perfectly and my experiences in love and life. When I hear it I play back all the memories in my mind, like a short movie. For that reason it’s the perfect epilogue for ABIENCE. It blends in flawlessly from Leaves let go (of trees) and it places the listener into a sense of reflection on the album and hopefully their own experiences throughout life.
I Love You Too Much:
I look at my phone. It’s her birthday now. It’s weird the shit that stays in your brain. Though I’ve loved many since her, I’m yet to find anything close to what we shared. With only our eyes, we could communicate the things that no words ever could. I believe that’s called Opia. Yet despite this blatant chemistry, you would never admit to yourself that you loved me.
In spite of the way you would look at me, and how you would act in my presence, you could never acknowledge how you truly felt. Perhaps you were scared? I’ll never really know…..I had no choice but to move on. I’m even aware of saying I love you now. I hate that you made me feel that way. I hate that I loved you too much.
